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Hey girl, I know that as a kid
You never got to see that boy band concert on Pay-Per-View
But it's okay
Because I'm here now
And I'm all the boy band you'll ever need.
Girl, I know things have not always been so easy for you
Kids were mean
And your daddy walked right out the door, too.
Maybe we should have a session
Address your anxiety and depression
'Cause I got a funny feeling if we do
PIXIE DUST CUE MUSIC
Baby, you can kiss
All your childhood traumas goodbye.
You're never gonna miss
All that stress, you've been keeping inside.
All your psychological problems
Girl, we're gonna solve them
'Cause we're not just a boy band made up of four Joshes
We're also a team of licensed mental health professionals.
We'll help you understand the reasons
That your mom made you sad
And why every man you date is just a
Stand-in for your dad.
You stop revisiting your fears
Once we wipe away your tears
Trust us, girl
Your prognosis isn't bad.
Baby, you can kiss
All your unexplained symptoms goodbye!
You're never gonna miss
All those nightmares in which you tend to die!
We'll get you through those developmental stages
That you've been stuck in for ages
'Cause we're not just a boy band made up of four Joshes
We're also a team of nationally recognized Mental health professionals
Trained in cognitive
Behavioral therapy with specialties in
Personality and sleep disorders
And love!