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Hello, I'm a member of a new organization called the Fart Retrieval League. Do you realize that among the millions of farts which are released every day, not all of them float free. A small, but significant percentage of farts is trapped in seat cushions all over America- hopelessly suspended in foam rubber. We ask you to please help rescue lost farts.
Send your donation to the Fart Retrieval League. We will send you a booklet entitled, The
Facts
on
Farts. And say, next time you're in a hotel lobby, why not jump up and down on a seat cushion and free a fart.
This Sunday, don't miss Issues
and
Assholes, an in depth look at questions of public interest. This weekend, Should
There
Be
Gay
Smoking
Areas? Then, relax as sex and sports get together on Bowling
For
Pussy. (bowling sounds)