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I am waiting for my mind to stop
For it seems to be uncoupled from my free will
So I'm lesser the hamster
But rather the wheel spun by its feet
And so I'm turned through daily life
Not knowing what's real
But knowing that this must be an error
Of what I should be
I tried to have my own thoughts
To be myself and reign my mind
But there's a fence i cannot break through
To this day I've never known myself
What are my thoughts, if I can't decide
Which way they shall go?
If they have their own life
Why do I take them for myself?
What is the thing
That keeps my mind running
Even when I call for it to stop?
Is it more entitled
To pilot my thoughts than I am?
Is it superior to me?
If so, I have no reason to exist
But there must be a purpose
For my presence
Or else I'm just the spawn
Of a psychosis
What are my thoughts, if I can't decide
Which way they shall go?
If they have their own life
Why do I take them for myself?
Could the awareness of these thoughts
Be the essence of what I really am?
Could it be that fragile touch
That fragile touch of stillness?
My mind's dividing things in black and white
So staring at the world I only see my thoughts
While reality is buried
Beneath
What are my thoughts, if I can't decide
Which way they shall go?
If they have their own life
Why do I take them for myself?
Make these screaming voices stop!
ca