Bustopher Jones
Is not skin and bones
In fact, he's remarkably fat
He doesn't haunt pubs
He has eight or nine clubs
For he's the St James's Street Cat
He's the cat we all greet
As he walks down the street
In his coat of fastidious black
No commonplace mousers
Have such well-cut trousers
Or such an impeccable back
In the whole of St James's
The smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud
To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats
In the whole of St James's
The smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud
To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones
In white spats
My visits are occasional
To the Senior Educational
And it is against the rules
For any one cat
To belong both to that
And the Joint Superior Schools
For a similar reason
When game is in season
I'm found not at Fox's, but Blimp's
I am frequently seen
At the gay Stage and Screen
Which is famous
For winkles and shrimps
In the season of venison
I give my ben'son
To the Pothunter's succulent bones
And just before noon's
Not a moment too soon
To drop in for a drink
At the Drones
When I'm seen in a hurry
There's probably curry
At the Siamese or at the Glutton
If I look full of gloom
Then I've lunched at the Tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding
And mutton
In the whole of St James's
The smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of cats
And we're all of us proud
To be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white
Bustopher Jones in white spats
So much in this way
Passes Bustopher's day
At one club or another he's found
It can be no surprise
That under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round
He's a twenty-five pounder
Or I am a bounder
And he's putting on weight
Every day
But I'm so well-preserved
Because I've observed
All me life a routine, and I'd say
I am still in me prime
I shall last out me time
That's the word
From this stoutest of cats
It must and it shall
Be spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones wears white
Bustopher Jones
Wears white spats
Toodlepip!
(Thunder rolls)
(Police siren)
Macavity!
(Car brakes screech)
(Car accelerates away)

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