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Well I thought about the army
Dad said, son you're fucking high
And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything
So I took my old man's advice
Three sad semesters
It was only fifteeen grand spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead
Grew a moustache and a mullet
Got a job at Chick-Fil-A
Citing artistic differences
The band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me
And they'd got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
And hung my head in shame
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
Whoooaah, I think I'll write a screenplay
Whoooaah, I think I'll take it to LA
Whoooaah, I think I'll get it done yesterday
Aw, Shit
In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection
God, please spare me more rejection
'Cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I thought about your mommy...
- Album:
- In Concert 2015-2016
- So There
- Miscellaneous
- Ben Folds Presents: University A Cappella!
- Way To Normal
- Stems And Seeds
- Super D
- Songs For Silverman
- Supersunnyspeedgraphic
- Whatever & Ever Amen
- The Banger Sisters
- Ben Folds Live
- Fear Of Pop, Vol. 1
- Sunny 16
- Speed Graphic
- Picture Window
- Non-Album Releases
- Songs for Goldfish (Live)
- iTunes Originals
- Eddie Walker (Live)