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Hey we got a job on our way
From Salt Lake City to San Francisco overnight
It's a long drive man
Ain't nothing to do
We were bored on the way
Me and Bill up in the front
I said âMan is that a UFO'?
He said âI think it is
I think there's two'
I said âMan is that place Mustang Ranch on the way'?
He said âYeah, let's call 'em up'
Called the girl up on the phone
She âhello'
I said âHow much would it be
For me to come over and get my, my, my,
My ham glazed'?
She said
wooooooooooooooo
How fast does love come for
You know its gonna have to come real cheap
We pulled up there
'round 7 o'clock in the mornin'
Big old fat dude come up
Comin' around the car with a gun on his hip
He said âWatcha all want'?
âWe just hop in the van to get our ham roasted'
He said âI need to see some id'
Showed him id and
He got up in the van
Dagwood sleeping back there like he always is
Dude put his flashlight in his face
Dagwood looks over and says âwhat's goin' on'?
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy
Gonna need some id boys
You don't come in here
Messin' with my place
Went in there
And two good ol' bad girls come on
Sitting on both sides of me
They say âWhat's up baby'?
I said âNow what's going with yo'?
âWhatchu want?
I said âI want my ham to get glazed'
She said âWell come here in the back
And we'll talk about it'
âSay, you need a threesome'
I say âI only need take one
To get my ham glazed'
She say âHow much money you got'
I say âI got about twenty dollars'
She says
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
You gonna need more than that boy
I ain't no bad free wild girl
Gonna rock that Ranch to pay
Gettin in the way you drink
Now Bill got to find wandering eye
She came out the back
Lookin' fine and he was jealous
She took him by the hand
And he went back to the jungle room
And his teeth were chattering
And he was sweating bullets
Cause he was so damn scared
And she sat him down on the couch
Put her hand on his leg
And said âWhatchu wanna do with me'?
He says âI want my ham to be glazed'
She says âHow much money you got'?
He says âTwenty dollars'
And she says
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
You gonna need more than that boy
If you gettin' gonna get with me
At the Mustang Ranch you pay
Gettin in the way you be
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