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I met a homeless man named Rich
Isn't that terrible
I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didn't have any legs
I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating
I saw a giraffe that had a short neck
That was sad, or a... deer
I saw an old man get hit by a train
He didn't see it in the pouring rain
He didn't hear me shout look
out
for
the
train
Cause i didn't say anything
I just thought to myself, Oh,
this
is
going
to
be
sad.
And it was
I'm a genius
I saw a man with only one eye in a 3d movie
I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone directly on his mother's corpse
I saw a kitten stuck in a tree then the kitten jumped off and it hung itself
I saw a kid with red hair
I went to a store looking for something to buy
But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy
No wait, this store sells mirrors
See what I did there?
Let's Rock
The world's so sad bros
Pain, genocide, war, sexism, racism
But i gotta remember there's good things about it too
Like the fact that none of that is happening to me
Still though it's hard not to be sad about it
How do y'all do it?
I've been telling you guys terribly sad things this whole song you haven't been sad at all
Youâve been happy
No, you've been laughing
Thatâs it, laughter, itâs the key to everything
Itâs the way to solve all the sadness in the world
I mean, not for people who are actually said, but for the people like us whoâve gotta fucking deal with âem all the time
Being a comedian isnât being an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public, itâs being a hero!
The world isnât sad. The worldâs funny!
I'm a sociopath!
I saw an old man slip and fall; hey, what a fucking idiot
I saw a woman at her daughterâs funeral
Hahaha! Classic comedy!
Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now
The Holocaust and 9/11?
That shitâs funny 24/7 cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about, because my empathy is bumming me out
Goodbye sadness! Hello jokes!