Standing bright on a pillar
Made of native stone
Stood a man of distinction
A man not well known
Shouting words of confusion
When no one was there,
He asked questions of ghosts
and then he ran off scared
He was Jesus Crust, Jesus Crust
A man of very few words
He was Jesus Crust, Jesus Crust
A man who always was heard
His mother kept kosher
His father was dead
He drank hemlock for breakfast
It swelled his head
He worked for the army
as a target for the archers
He wet himself at dinner
And still his head grew larger
He was Jesus Crust, Jesus Crust
A many of very few words
He was Jesus Crust, Jesus Crust
A man who always was heard

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