Things were bad, I won't lie, you were you were all gonna die,
But you’re alive because… I kick ass!
So you’re welcome, I guess, either way I’m the best
I’m the Link, who’s the Link to the past…
There’s a bunch of Links
Each of us distinct
But I’m the best
I am number one
Look how fast I run
And I’m really fun
Guess I’m just blessed
Yes, I saved Light and Dark Worlds
Zelda too, and like six other girls
My quest was epic and long
As is my schlong
I bring bad guys to their knees
No, no, no, no…no autographs, please
I’m a gift, to you from the gods
I’m the shit! And quite fit! Just admit: You want my babies!
You’re like “wow! Sacre Bleu, we were deep in poo poo,
but Link showed up and voila, we were free”
You were lost, stuck in bed, you were basicAlly dead,
But you’re all alive because of me!
So you’re welcome, no prob, yeah I did a great job
But I just did what you woulda done
That’s a joke, obviously! No, it had to be me
I’m the Link who’s the Link to the past…
And my wiener is vast
You’re all saved at last
… I KICK ASS.

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