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What happened last night
Are you really here?
Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan, Joan
Hi Joan!
Don't wake up Joan
Oh my God last night
Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,
Oh my God last night
I was so excited
I was too enthusiastic
Thank you for not laughing,
Well you laughed a little bit
At one point when I was touching you
And said I might lose consciousness
Which you said was adorable
And I just have to trust
That you don't think I'm an idiot
Or some kind of an animal
I never lost control due to overwhelming lust
But I must
Say that I'm
Changing my major to Joan
I'm changing my major to sex with Joan
I'm changing my major to sex with Joan
With a minor in kissing Joan
Foreign study to Joan's inner thighs
A seminar on Joan's ass in her Levi's
And Joan's crazy brown eyes
Joan I feel like Hercules
Oh God that sounds ridiculous
Just keep on sleeping through this
And I'll work on calming down
So by the time you've woken up
I'll be cool
I'll be collected
And I'll have found some dignity
But who needs dignity
'Cause this is so much better
I'm radiating happiness
Will you stay here with me
For the rest of the semester
We won't need any food
We'll live on sex alone
Sex with Joan
I am writing a thesis on Joan
It's a cutting edge field and my mind is blown
I would gladly stay up every night to hone
My compulsory skills with Joan
I will study my way down her spine
Familiarize myself with her well-made outline
While she researches mine
I don't know who I am
I've become someone new
Nothing I just did
Is anything I would do
Over night everything changed
I am not prepared
I'm dizzy, I'm nauseous, I'm shaky
I'm scared
Am I falling into nothingness
Or flying into something so sublime
I don't know
But I'm
Changing my major to Joan
I thought all my life I'd be all alone
But that was before I was lying prone
In this dorm room bed with Joan
Look she drooled on the pillow
So sweet
All sweaty and tangled up in my bed sheet
And my heart feels complete
Let's never leave this room
How 'bout we stay here to finals
I'll go to school forever
I'll take out a dementedly high huge interest loan
'Cause I'm changing my major
To Joan