There's the cool kids
There's the preps and there's the skate punks and the jocks
And then there's me
There's the losers
There's the nerds and there's the stoners and the Goths
And then there's me
But then there's you!
Cause you're the new kid in the school
You're not defined by one specific breed!
And so your free to flit from group to group
From scene to scene
Cause you're the conduit, the medium, the go-between
Which means your perfectly positioned to get me what I need
Look, Archie, I'm the wrong guy for this.
One date, that's all I'm asking.
Isn't there some nice girl on the special needs bus?
They don't like me
Even back before the crutches, it was clear: I don't fit here
So it's hopeless
I can't walk right up to Kendra and say Hey,
She'd run away
But look at you!
You're making friends and having parties
And adapting at impressive speed
Just twenty minutes when we're sitting so our knees can touch
Yes, it's a tiny inconvenience, but it means so much
Cause out of all of Indiana, you can get me what I need!
It's impossible!
And what I need is Kendra!
Kendra, Kendra!
Beautiful Kendra!
Kendra, Kendra!
Wonderful Kendra!
Ahhhhh!
Make her appear!
If you want a girl, the girl you want is
Kendra!
Kendra, Kendra!
Very hot, Kendra!
Very hot
Very hot
Go tell Kendra!
I'm waiting here...
Here's the problem
Every minute, every second that I wait Might be too late
So let's face it,
If I ever had a chance,
the time is now, so who cares how?
Just do your best
And I won't bother you again,
and that's a promise guaranteed!
So, you can help me out
and we can both do very well
Or I can turn around and make your life a living hell
It's up to you, you've got a choice, you've got incentive to succeed!
Yes, I know it sounds insane
Jerry Lewis can explain
You've got to help me, Evan
Help me, Evan
Help me, Evan
Help me, Evan
Get me what I...
I'll try!
I knew you would.

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