Hindsights grey

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I'm awake, I'm scared, it's way too early for this.
Heaven won't accept me, with the thoughts in my head.
Waking up used to be so easy.
Now the cold sweats keep me from leaving.
I'm at the point now were sunlight fails to pull me out of my bed.
I used to be a morning person, now my bed sheets hold my worries.
Cracks in bedroom curtains seep grey light through darkened windows
This cloud's silver lining is rusting in front of me.

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