There was a crooked man
Who walked a crooked mile
He stole a crooked heart
Upon a crooked stile
He bought a crooked cat
Who caught a crooked mouse
They all lived together
In a crooked little house
There was a crooked man
Who walked a crooked mile
He stole a crooked heart
Upon a crooked stile
He bought a crooked cat
Who caught a crooked mouse
They all lived together
In a crooked little house
Where are you, my crooked man?
You dirty little thief--
You stole my crooked heart
And now I'm left with this crooked cat
But I don't want to be your crooked mat
(and you don't want to be our crooked rat).

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