Alright, when I call your name step forward. Pinocchio, the puppet.
(Spoken)
I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy.
(Nose grows and he laughs)
(Spoken)
That's your patch of mud down there.
(Spoken)
Oh, dopped on a swamp. Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap.
Life is disappointing,
Whoa is what I know.
Outted by my nose,
That's just how it goes,
For poor Pinocchio.
Story of my life,
Always doomed to fail.
Cheated by a fox,
Swallowed by a whale.
That's the story of my life, oh yeah,
That's the story of my life.
Strife is never ending.
(Spoken)
Peter Pan!
Banished from the town
(Spoken)
Ugly Duckling!
They dragged me from the pond.
They pulled my magic wand.
They blew our condos down.
(Spoken)
Wicked Witch!
Life is but a witch hunt.
Mama's in the mud,
Mama's in distress.
They ridiculed my hat.
They said that we were fat.
They tore my cotton granny dress,
And called me a hot and tranny mess.
(Spoken)
Sugar Plum Fairy!
Story of my life.
Booted from ball
Told to go away.
Tumbled off a wall
That's the story of my life.
(Spoken)
You're late rabbit.
That's the story of my life.
(Spoken)
Have fun you guys
That's the story of my life.
(Spoken)
And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed.
I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending.
And this right here,
Not how it goes.
I always dreamed I'd get an ever after.
If this is it,
It blows (Spoken)
This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana.
Story of my life,
All the wasted prayers.
All the broken dreams.
All the broken chairs.
All the damage done
All the busted beds.
All the shattered falls
Pourage on our heads.
That's the story of my life, yes sir.
That's the story of my life, oi vei.
That's the story of my,
(Spoken)

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