Lisa Howard & Shoulda Company this day opening

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JUDY: A mother's work is never done when her daughter's getting married!
I still got errands left to run, and Devin has to do my hair!
The seating chart; what was I thinking?
Keep an eye on Sheila's drinking.
Worrying's okay!
My baby's getting married on this day.
I'm gonna go check on your sister.
JENNY: Why don't you call Rebecca first?
Give her a chance to...
run away!
REBECCA: Hello?
JENNY: Incoming!
REBECCA: No!
Incoming?
I think I'm dying, my pulse is racing, I'm close to death!
BRIAN: Now don't start crying, stop your pacing, just take a breath!
REBECCA: What are the symptoms of anaphylactic shock?
I'll never make it through this day!
JUDY: How's my girl, is she okay?
REBECCA: I'm good.
JUDY: My darling, precious child.
My beautiful, innocent little virgin.
REBECCA: Mother, I'm not a- JUDY: Let me have my fantasy, please.
Are you ready for our big day?
REBECCA: Ready as I'll ever be.
JUDY: Good, and remember, we're all having our hair done at ten.
And tell what's-his-name it's bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony!
REBECCA: My mother's psychic!
BRIAN: Your mother's psycho.
JENNY: What else is new?
Brian, you're being here is bad luck!
BRIAN: And, Kina Hora, it'll all be fine!
JENNY: Did you just say Kein Ayen Hora?
BRIAN: Yep, I picked up a Yiddish phrase book to impress your parents!
JENNY: Like a lamb to slaughter.
Where are the Best Man and Maid of Honor?
BRIAN: They're...
getting dressed.
GREG: Best rehearsal dinner ever!!
ANNIE: Woohoo!!
JENNY: Check.
Now, you two show me some lovin' to remind me why I'm doing all of this.
That's what I'm talkin' about!
ALBERT: I design, I perfect, so their day is pure enjoyment.
PLUS WALT & MIMSY: No detail left unchecked, or we'll be on unemployment.
JENNY: Hello?
ALBERT: So you do want the panini station!
What's a wedding without one?
JENNY: How'd you know that, Albert?
ALBERT: I'm a wedding planner, Jenny, we see and hear everything.
JENNY: Thanks, Albert.
ALBERT: No problem!
WALT & MIMSY: No problem!
JUDY: Did you get the wedding planner?
JENNY: He got me.
The staff at this hotel, they, like, see and hear everything.
JUDY: Then I guess you won't need to tell him that I think a panini station is a little too- JENNY: On it.
Hello?
ALBERT: 86 the panini station?
Got it.
JENNY: Albert, you're the best!
ALBERT: I live to serve!
JENNY: Then, would you call the groom's mother for me?
ALBERT: No hablo Inglés.
JENNY: Ugh, make a noose and tie the knot!
GEORGETTE: Hello?
Ahem, oh!
Hello, Jenny!
All ready for the big day?
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Of course.
I'm looking forward to having my hair done with you girls.
GEORGE: Are you really going to let someone beside Elsie do your hair?
GEORGETTE: Don't be stupid, George!
You've got to get Brian to call off this wedding!
GEORGE: Brian and I don't talk, Georgette.
GEORGETTE: Well then start.
Bond with the boy, open his eyes, talk some sense into him!
GEORGE: That's a lot to do before noon.
GEORGETTE: Fine!
Get me some ice, and hand me the gin.
There are times in a life a mother can't win.
My son doesn't know the trouble he's in.
I guess I'll have to play nice.
So, get me some ice!
JUDY: Jenny, Jenny!
JENNY: In the shower!
JUDY: I just remembered your Aunt Sheila had a panini- JENNY: Calling!
Ugh, all of this for a steady- MARTY: Hello?
JENNY: This has already turned into the longest wedding day in history.
MARTY: Wedding day?
Jenny?!
JENNY: Oh no, please, no!
MURRAY: What is it, sweetheart?
JENNY: I just accidentally called Marty!
MURRAY: Well, that's okay.
Rebecca's ex-boyfriend or not, he's like a member of this family!
JENNY: But Rebecca didn't want him to know the wedding was today, she was afraid he was going to try to stop it.
MURRAY: Oh, don't worry about it.
He probably didn't even know it was you.
MARTY: It's a sign!
I wasn't gonna do this, I wasn't gonna get involved.
But it's a sign!
I wasn't gonna do this, but it felt so unresolved!
Now I know I was right, right from the start!
It's a sign!
I will change her mind, I swear.
It's a sign.
They won't even know I'm there.
I can't just walk away.
I've gotta have my say!
Jenny still has me on speed dial.
I'm never turning my phone off in a theatre again!
It's a sign!
I'm gonna stop this wedding day!
ALBERT: Unrequited and uninvited, a recipe for disaster.
WALT: This is terrible!
MIMSY: Oh, no.
It's fantastic.
ALL (WHILE OTHERS REPEAT SAYINGS): Do we pray and we fight for a wedding that is joyous?
For a day dressed in white that might quite possibly destroy us.
At this wedding celebration, JENNY: Where you've barely slept a wink.
ALBERT: With it's grand panini station.
JENNY: Where you sure could use a drink.
JUDY: It will be so life affirming!
REBECCA & BRIAN: While we're struggling and squirming.
MIMSY: It will be fabulous and floral!
WALT: And delightfully immoral.
ANNIE: Suspensful and upsetting.
GREG: There's something I'm forgetting...
GEORGETTE: Completely soul destroying.
JUDY: And deliberately annoying.
ALL: We'll be dressed sorta snappy while we're happily unhappy, with our arms on display, MARTY: It's a sign!
ALL: This day!
This day!
REBECCA: I'll never make it through!
ALL: This day!
JENNY: I never wanted this.

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