[Guard]
(Spoken)
Alright, when I call your name step forward. Pinocchio, the puppet.
[Pinocchio]
(Spoken)
I'm not a puppet I'm a real boy.
(Nose grows and he laughs)
[Guard]
(Spoken)
That's your patch of mud down there.
[Pinocchio]
(Spoken)
Oh, dopped on a swamp. Man, I tell you sometimes being a fairytale creature sucks pine sap.
[Pinocchio]
Life is disappointing,
Whoa is what I know.
Outted by my nose,
That's just how it goes,
For poor Pinocchio.
Story of my life,
Always doomed to fail.
Cheated by a fox,
Swallowed by a whale.
That's the story of my life, oh yeah,
That's the story of my life.
[Shoemaker's Elf]
Strife is never ending.
[Guard]
(Spoken)
Peter Pan!
[Peter Pan]
Banished from the town
[Guard]
(Spoken)
Ugly Duckling!
[Ugly Duckling]
They dragged me from the pond.
[Fairy Godmother]
They pulled my magic wand.
[The Three Little Pigs]
They blew our condos down.
[Guard]
(Spoken)
Wicked Witch!
[Wicked Witch]
Life is but a witch hunt.
[Mama Bear]
Mama's in the mud,
Mama's in distress.
[Garden Gnome]
They ridiculed my hat.
[Three Little Pigs]
They said that we were fat.
[Big Bad Wolf]
They tore my cotton granny dress,
And called me a hot and tranny mess.
[Guard]
(Spoken)
Sugar Plum Fairy!
Story of my life.
Booted from ball
Told to go away.
[Humpty Dumpty]
Tumbled off a wall
That's the story of my life.
[Guard]
(Spoken)
You're late rabbit.
[White Rabbit]
That's the story of my life.
[Guard]
(Spoken)
Have fun you guys
That's the story of my life.
[Guard]
(Spoken)
And remember if we find you back in the kingdom you will be executed.
I always dreamed I'd get a happy ending.
[Wicked Witch]
And this right here,
Not how it goes.
I always dreamed I'd get an ever after.
If this is it,
It blows (x3)
[Pinocchio]
(Spoken)
This is worse than that case of Dutch Elm Disease I caught in Tijuana.
Story of my life,
All the wasted prayers.
All the broken dreams.
[The Three Bears]
All the broken chairs.
All the damage done
[The Three Bears]
All the busted beds.
All the shattered falls
[The Three Bears]
Pourage on our heads.
That's the story of my life, yes sir.
That's the story of my life, oi vei.
That's the story of my,
[Pinocchio]
(Spoken)

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