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Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste
Not like those Rolling Stones who are short, weedy, pasty faced
My name is Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. I live beneath the surface paradise
I put the aphids on your petunias, I put Ben Cousins career on ice
I put your ATM out of order, I put giardia in your drinking water
I forgot to put the bug in Y2K, but I did put the turd in Saturday
I put that wheel on your shopping trolley, I flatten your battery
I made millionaires tax free, I put the smell in cat wee
I made surf beaches undertow, I made old people drive slow
I'll see you never win Lotto, I invented the mosquito
I'm a mirage when you're dying of thirst, I spell Luna Park in reverse
I stopped me from finishing this verse.
'Cause I'm a Country member
I'm a Country member
Just like old Doug Anthony said,
One day in parliament,
I'm a Country member