what is there to mend
when what is broken always falls apart?
blow a hole into my head
to see just what my thoughts are
and the sun, well
it hides its face in shame
as the moon shines down
upon all my mistakes
lay awake for days
I watched the ceiling change
now this
place is not a home
but could I ever be what you had in mind?
should I find a new lifestyle
that keeps you pleased for a while?
I'll be in the back of your head
with fingers crossed, but tired hands
and if I come to
I won't deny
that I was wrong to insist I was right sometimes
but you will find fault in me
just like you always do
the fault is always mine
and now I am
stuck in ambivalence between
being alive and being safe
and I am growing my hair out just to
cut it short again
convincing myself
I'm a new fucking person
what did you have in mind?
should I find a new lifestyle
that keeps you pleased for a while?
I'll be in the back of your head
with fingers crossed, but tired hands
and if I come to
I won't deny
that I was wrong to insist I was right sometimes
but you will find fault in me
just like you always do
the fault is always mine
there's water under an unstable bridge
one strong enough to stand on its own
weak enough to break if you cross
I'll call it what it really is
an accident waiting to happen
I'm sorry I can't carry this weight
but you're not the same

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