When I look at my life I see something's not right
Like a thousand percent
And I wonder what it is, how it is that it's always just me here
Lying alone at the end of the night
Ten thousand percent
I put most of the blame on Alfred
How come he couldn't take the bullet intended
For mama and papa?
I never had a pony
I never had pets
Just a bullshit butler
Who builds bullshit jets
Oh! I'm falling apart
I need a friend
Somebody to hold on to
Somebody to confide in
Think of the children
Next time you gun down their mama and papa
Their only mama and papa
Because they probably don't have another mama and papa
I was seein' a girl for a while
A couple days anyway
And I told her I loved her
She said you're such a good friend and that rash is bad
You should really go see a doctor
Then she just disappeared
Sent me some text about bad timing and my love being selfish
Then my doctor called up and the blood came back and as it turns out
I'm allergic to peanuts and shellfish
I loved peanuts and shellfish once
I'm falling apart
I'm lacking punch
I can barely eat
This morning I barely touched my brunch
Two spoons of oatmeal, a couple of nuts, and half a banana
And like my soul
The banana
Was bruised and black!
I'm falling apart, I need a friend
Somebody to hold on to, somebody to confide in
Somebody to ride in the cockpit
Co-captain of the friendship ship
Or maybe just a friend ship
If I had a buddy, we could discuss
Just what we call friendship
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a dumbshit butler
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a dumbshit butler
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a bumbling butler
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a dumbshit butler
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a bumbling butler
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a dumbshit butler
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy
Anybody but a bumbling butler
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy
Somebody who can be my buddy back
I want to be somebody's buddy

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