I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I've known her since God only knows, and I won't tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And Shirley she knows me just as well
I can tell you her birthday and her daddy's middle name
The uncles on her mamma's side and the ones they don't claim
What she's got for Christmas since nineteen fifty two
And that's only the beginning of the things I could tell you
'Cause I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I've known her since God only knows, and I won't tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And Shirley she knows me just as well
I can tell you her fav'rite song and where she liked to park
Any why to this very day she's scared of the dark
How she got her nickname and that scar behind her knee
If there's anything you need to know 'bout Shirley just ask me
I know where she's ticklish and her ev'ry little quirk
The funnies she don't read and her number at work
I know what she stands for and what she won't allow
The only thing that I don't know is where she is right now
But I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I've known her since God only knows, and I won't tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
And Shirley she knows me just as well
Ole Shirley she knows me just as well

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