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I used to watch Quantum Leap,
every night with my girlfriend.
Al and Sam, they leaped through time,
and I felt like they were my best friends.
Ziggy said thereâs a 98 percent
chance of a broken heart.
Scott Bakula never played Dracula,
laid down the smackula on the bad guys.
He was honest and sharing and loving and caring,
the kind of guy who would always do the right thing,
Clever and handsome and so damn sensitive,
and Iâm not⦠Scott.
He was sweet enough to tame the fire,
in that self-empowered Murphy Brown chick.
I even bought âLord of Illusionsâ,
even though I thought that move kinda sucked.
Ziggy said thereâs a 98 percent
chance that the endingâs sad.
Scott Bakula never smoked crackula,
he played quarterbackula in âNecessary Roughnessâ.
Scott Bakula never played Dracula,
laid down the smackula on the bad guys.
He was honest and sharing and loving and caring,
the kind of guy who would always do the right thing,
Clever and handsome and so damn sensitive,
and Iâm not⦠Scott.
Heâs nice enough to play a gay guy.
Heâs cool enough to star in sci-fi.
Heâs man enough to helm a starship,
and Iâm the type of guy who would feel up that Vulcan chick.
Ziggy said thereâs a 98 percent
chance that Iâm a prick.
No one can love you like Scott Bakula can love you.
Iâll never be Scott Bakula,
He possesses all the traits that I sorely lackula,
Sometimes I just want to punch him in the sackula,
because Iâm not Scott.