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The Masturbation Song
Miscellaneous
The Masturbation Song
Itâs Saturday night and Iâm alone, Iâve made no future plans,
So I sit me down and I pull out the little old Man,
I ainât got a girlfriend and I donât have a date,
But thatâs alright with me coz I love to masturbate
Back in the old days Iâd buy some magazines, a six pack of beer and a tub of Vaseline,
Penthouse and Hustler were as good as it could get,
But I hit the jackpot when I found the Internet.
Iâm beating my meat, pounding the pud, yeah Iâm jacking off!
I got a good grip on my joystick, and it ainât Microsoft,
Iâm flogging my dog, spanking the monkey, ainât computers great!
Yeah Iâll never leave home coz I love to masturbate!
They got naked men and women, and all kinds of sex galore,
Blondes, brunettes and redheads and Philippine whores,
No matter what youâre into, youâll find your own dot COM,
Thereâs even one for old chicks where I think I saw my mum!
Yeah choke the chicken, rub the duck, yeah Iâm talking low,
I got a good grip on my joystick and I canât let it go,
Row that skin boat, stroke the log, ainât computers great!
Yeah Iâll never leave home coz I love to masturbate!
They say things like E commerce, with three âWWWâs and a dot,
They say Itâs for information, but Iâm here to say itâs not,
Now theyâre trading it on Wall Street, but they ainât fooling me,
Itâs al just a cover for the porn industry!
And Iâm shagging my shaft, cleaning my gun, hammering the nail,
Iâm a cybersex site surfer, with my own email,
Iâm petting my snake, jacking off, thank you old Bill Gates,
Iâll never leave home coz I love to masturbate!
Yeah Iâll never leave home coz I love to masturbate!
- Album:
- Miscellaneous