Tony Norwell
Miscellaneous
Abbeywood Veggie
Abbeywood Veggie February 2000
I try to eat muesli - I’ve sampled some fusilli –
And many more things I can tell –
Tried tahini cannellini – macaroni cannelloni –
And cut out tea and coffee as well!
A7 D
My diet has oft been the subject - of many a debate of great heat –
But rather than part from my veggies –
I think I would rather eat meat!
I’m a veggie, I’m a veggie, from Abbeywood way –
I get all my protein the vegetable way.
I may eat junk food all day Monday –
But I am a health freak on Sunday!
The day was just ending – as I was descending –
To sit on my recycling loo.
A noise from down under – nearly tore me asunder –
As it heralded a healthy loose poo!
That thing that I did smelt unpleasant –
But in the teeth of my straining I thought –
That sooner than part from my diet –
I think I would rather be caught short.
You lift your bum off and you splutter and cough –
And hope none of your guests are near you.
You pretend you’re just weeing – and hope not to be in –
When somebody else needs the loo!
When at last you have completely finished –
And carefully pull the old chain –
You hope all the traces go down there –
And nothing will block up the drain!
They call me a freak – say I should eat meat –
I did once but I just couldn’t now.
I don’t see the reasoning why plenty of seasoning –
Shouldn’t make my food taste good somehow!
They say animals are for eating –
At that I start shaking my head –
No man has the right to take lives now-
Nor exploit both the living and dead.
I once loved a maid – a law student by trade –
She was feisty as ever could be.
And the glint in her eye matched the red morning sky –
I loved her till February.
On the day we agreed to be lovers –
We went for a big veggie meal –
For sooner than part from my diet –
I would rather be robbed of my zeal!
So, I - eat what I can now – of both Yin and Yan now –
And I go for the healthiest food!
I know what I need now - cause my body I heed now–
And it makes noises frequent and rude!
I eat carrots instead of sweet biscuits –
Lots of veg and of fruit every day-
I only eat polyunsaturates
And do what I should twice a day!

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