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Your sports team is vastly inferior
That simple fact is plainly obvious to see
Weâre gonna kick your collective posterior
Of course you realize weâre speaking figuratively
Our stats are thoroughly impressive
Our coach really has the Midas touch
Our players are fast and strong and brave
And your guys, eh, not so much
In fact weâve played teams across the nation
And youâre the worst one weâve come across
Try to assimilate that information
And it just might help you cope with your impending loss
Oh, and if somehow we are still failing
To affectively articulate the points at hand
Allow us now to summarize them in a manner
That your feeble brains can understand
Weâre great (weâre great)
And you suck (you suck)
Weâre great (weâre great)
And you suck (you suck)
Weâre great (weâre great)
And you suck (you suck)
You see thereâs us (weâre great)
And then thereâs you (you suck)
Weâre really, really great (really great)
In contrast, you really suck (really suck)
Okay, full disclosure, weâre not that great
But nevertheless, you suck
Your sports team will soon suffer swift defeat
That theoryâs backed up by empirical evidence
Weâre gonna grind up your guys into burger meat
Again, of course, weâre speaking in the figurative sense
Whatâs the use of even going through the motions
When you know that youâre gonna lose anyhow
So why donât you save us all some time
And give up now (you suck!)