Apples in Space shame

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I changed my soap, changed my perfume too,
but everyone can smell that I've been with you
They're keeping their distance with fake-pity smiles
No one asks questions,
they've known the answers for a while
Shame is a coat I put on
and it smells like you
Am I wearing your old clothes?
Cause they feel so soft against my skin
But somewhere it's itching
and I don't know where to scratch
I wanna wash you away
I wanna make myself clean
But you're resting within me, so deep
Were we born together, like family?
I don't know
Can't tell being full and starving from another
Can't tell being loved from being used
Shame is a coat worse for wear
we're hanging in the air like worn-out pairs of shoes
What you fell for is gonna fall back onto you
But the addiction will always stay my friend
Can't replace the love,
but fakes it better than anyone
And I think i'm dying to keep you alive,
cause when I'm starving you are full,
but never satisfied
Oh how I wish that I could kill you
like you've been killing me
We were born together, like a family
of fake appetite and dime-store dignity
I don't know
When you tore apart my family tree
then i burnt my roots and waited for the rain
You stole my childhood and I took your name
The mirror, my biggest sponsor,
she pulls my hair and points at me
so I button up and smile
and I say: everything fine
Silly details I recall
I just don't know what is important anymore
Sneaked upon me like cowards do,
Then you told me that I look like a fool
Who came first, you or me?
I don't know

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