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I didnât know that he got in a car crash
We could have been friends, could have got married
Could have had grandkids, sent them to college
Or at least attended each otherâs weddings.
I didnât know that you stayed home for hours
Calling his parents asking for answers
Skipping your prom night, crying and praying
Up to a God that you never believed in.
Meghan held your body
While you were sobbing at the party
And I couldnât leave the kitchen
I ingested too much poison.
I wanted to tell you I know how it feels when
The people you love just start disappearing
Ashamed that you took their presence for granted
But I didnât want to seem condescending
I didnât know that youâd relive the moment
The doctor came out with a frown and a clipboard
And you wandered home with no ride feeling stupid
That you thought that this was a regular visit
Meghan held your body
While you were sobbing at the party
And I couldnât help from staring
And creating extra tension
Watching Meghan hold your body
While you were sobbing at the party
And I couldnât leave the kitchen
I ingested too much poison.
Were you supposed to not go to college?
Stay in your momâs house on the computer
googling grief cures, talking to no one
Waiting for life to start feeling better?
Waiting for pain to not be a constant?
Waiting to feel like anyoneâs honest?
Waiting for me to stop being sarcastic
Because I canât accept (because I canât accept)
Because I canât accept all the bad things that happen.
Oh, I swear Iâm sorry
That I saw you at the party
That I stood there saying nothing
While you wept before your new friends
Oh, Iâm serious, Iâm sorry
Oh, Iâm serious, Iâm sorry