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Keep my plate warm in the oven
Save me a piece of your pie
Set the VCR to tape the evening news
Keep those backrub fingers standing by
'Cause there's a bomb threat in New Rochelle
Little brown box on the tracks
What a situation, stuck in Grand Central Station
And I don't know if I'm ever coming back
They're reading the Journal in the aisles
They're poppin' cold cold cans of Bud
Gal in the window seat's got a collie between her knees
And it's drooling on that guy in the Armani duds
There's a bomb threat in New Rochelle
Little brown box on the tracks
What a situation, stuck in Grand Central Station
And I don't know if I'm ever coming back
And it really shouldn't surprise me, the way this week has been
Felt like I could never catch my breath
Still, all the same, it would be an awful shame
To miss out on tomorrow on account of death
At least this car is air-conditioned
Hell, at least I'm sitting down
And though my right leg is pressed up against my neighbor's
He looks so fine, I might not mind sticking around
'Cause there's a bomb threat in New Rochelle
Little brown box on the tracks
What a situation, stuck in Grand Central Station
And I don't know if I'm ever coming back