I’m not the ripest one in the bunch, but I think I’m going to shine today. It’s taken me a few years but I finally figured out our fate. It stands several hundred metres and it’s only twenty years away. So, let’s get our shit together for the year of the wave.
I never quite expected to be feeling this affected by the stats. I thought it to be bullshit until God sent me a telefax. It said, ‘My son, I cannot stop this. So, you might as well just relax because this shaky mortal fortress is about to collapse.’
We sure should have seen this coming from the way that we’ve been running this old ship. Old Momma Nature’s Colt, sir, is just a-twitching in the holster at her hip. She’s been patient with us cowards and she’s done all in her power not to flip. Now she’s got an itchy finger because her shoulder’s got a chip.
All fanatics may bow their heads and pray but I’m only hoping someone brings champagne.

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