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Itâs hard to be living
You gotta play the cards you were given
You think itâs simple but it goddamn isnât
Itâs tougher now than breaking out of Shawshank prison
And as youâre hittin your prime
People say you been committing a crime
But I wonât quit till Iâm home
Iâll chip the limestone a bit at a time
Wait! Iâm a pale ass pale middle-class straight white male
I wonât have an alibi the day I fail
Cause if I ever went to jail, Mom would pay my bail
In a heartbeat
Mom and Dad have given me a lot more than a pat on the back
And I gotta thank âem for loving me
From the moment I was strapped in a Volvo car seat
When I needed a pep talk
I couldnât remember to wreck shop
Writerâs block, staring at my laptop desktop
Or sleeping in my rental in a turnpike rest stop
Shit in storage, living from a suitcase
Thinking âthis is how a silver spoon tastes?â
Cause you can make a dream possible
But itâll never be easy, no matter what you chase
If you wanna poke fun then do so
Iâll do it for you, itâs no crime
Iâm like if the dude from Juno grew a Jewfro and liked to rhyme So tell me that Iâm not a rapper
Tell Rudolph he canât pull sleighs
Tell pluto itâs not a planet
And heâll probably keep spinning in the same old way
On and on, every day
Right around the sun, wanna feel the rays
You do it âcause you love it like nothing else in the universe
And fuck it, itâs embedded in your DNA