Well, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants
But I'm a genius in France, yeah
Genius in France
Genius in France
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka
I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I got a negative number on my SATs
I'm not good lookin' an' I don't know how to dance
But nevertheless an' inspite of the evidence
I am still widely considered to be a genius in France
Genius in France, genius in France
People say I'm a geek, a moronic little freak
An annoyin' pipsqueak with an unfortunate physique
If I was any dumber, they'd have to water me twice a week
But when the mademoiselles see me, they all swoon an' shriek
They dig my mystique, they think I'm 'C'est magnifique'
When I'm in Paris, I'm the 'Chic-est of the chic'
They love my body odor and my bad toupee
They love my stripy shirt and my stupid beret
And when I'm sippin' on a Perrier
In some cafe down in St. Tropez
It's hard to keep the fans at bay
They say, Sign my poodle, please
Sign my poodle, please YOU plait
Hemenene humenene
Himenene homenene
Poodle, poodle
Folks in my hometown think I'm a fool
Got too much chlorine in my gene pool
A few peas short of a casserole
A few buttons missin' on my remote control
A few fries short of a happy meal
I couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
Instructions on the heel, instructions on the heel
But when I'm in Provence, I get free croissants
Yeah, I'm the guy every French lady wants
And if you ask 'em why, you're bound to get this response
He's a genius in France, genius in France
That's right, he's a genius in France, genius in France
You know it, he's a genius in France
Genius in France, genius in France
I'm not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree
But the folks in France, they don't seem to agree
They say, Bonjour, Sir, would you take she picture with me?
I say, Oui, oui
That's right, I say, Oui, yes
Yes, yes
He says, Yes, oui
I'm dumber than a box of hair
But those Frenchies don't seem to care
Don't know why, mon frere
But they love me there
I'm a genius in France
Yeah, I'm a genius in France
Gonna make a big splash when I show up in Cannes
Gonna make those Frenchies scream
You she man, you she man, you she man
Like a fine Renoir, I've got that je ne sais quoi
Like a fine Renoir, I've got that je ne sais
Quoi, quoi, quoi, quoi, quoi, ooh wee ooh
Quoi, quoi, quoi, quoi, quoi, ooh wee ooh
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy
Bow diddy bow di bow di bow bow diddy bow
I'm a taco short of a combo plate
But by some twist of fate, all the Frogs think I'm great
Oh, the men all faint an' the women scream
They like me more than heavy cream
When I'm in Versailles, I'm a popular guy
My, oh, my, I'm 'As French as apple pie'
They think I'm awfully witty, a riot an' a half
When I tell a stupid joke, they laugh an' laugh
People in France have lots of attitude
They're snotty and rude, they like disgustin' food
But when they see me, they just come unglued
They think that I am one happenin' dude
Bowm ba ba bowm ba bowm ba bowm
I'm about as sharp as a bowling ball
But they like me better than Charles Degaulle
Entre nous, it's very true
The room temperature's higher than my IQ
But they love me more than Gerard Depardieu
How did this happen? I don't have a clue
Well, I'm not the quickest tractor on the farm
I don't have any skills or grace or charm
And most people look at me like I'm all covered with ants
But I'm a genius in France
Genius in France
Genius in France
And I'm never goin' back, I'm never goin' back
I'm never never never never goin' back home again
I'm tearin' up my return flight ticket
Gonna tell the folks back home where they can stick it
'Cause I'm never goin' back
I'm never goin' back
I'm never goin' back
The girls back home never gave me a chance
But I sho' 'nuff got them Frogs in some kinda trance
And I'm aware that it's a most improbable circumstance
But 'Great Googily Moogily'
I'm a genius in France
Every Frenchie that I meet
Just can't wait to kiss my feet
Get in line, pucker up, toute suite
Bowm diddy bowm diddy bowm diddy
I'm gettin' even more famous by the hour
I'm stuffed with pastries an' drunk with power
Now they're puttin' up my statue by the Eiffel Tower
A little more to the left, boys
A little more to the left
A little more to the left, boys
A little more to the left
I'm the biggest dork there is alive
My mom picked out my clothes for me 'til I was 35
And I forgot to mention
I'm not even welcome at the Star Trek convention
But the Frenchies think
That my poop don't stink
I'm a genius in France
Say, would you pass the Grey Poupon?
Merci beaucoup

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