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Iâm keeping track of tasks in lists, âto-do,â âto-get.â Write down all the things I could have been and the options that I have left. Weâve already boxed the trophies and scholarâs accolades. Wrapped them all in so much tape that it erased the names.
Iâm taking Fridayâs paycheck to pay for Mondayâs rent. Iâm filling out credit card
applications every chance I get. I find new cavities each night as I clean my teeth.
Iâm finding new ways to walk the line between self-destruction and self-respect. Iâm laughing in the bathroom mirror, too tired to care, but you can never save face when it is you that is looking back. Time to measure up, but measure with what? Set your sights for something to change or the tide will was us away. Falling over every notion that I imagined for my bright future, feels like a spotlight on failure. Iâm falling over every motion that I imagined would bring me forward, but Iâm back where it all begins. Iâve walked so slow around the learning curve that the endpoints eventually met to form a circle. All figuratives aside, I can change and break this circle I walk and get out.