Kaitlin Hopkins three bedroom house

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Meredith: Out, out, out! Time to get out—
Shelley: Out?
Meredith: Out, gotta just rip out this page,
bend the bars of the cage and run free!
Shelley: Free!
Meredith: Free, no one but Edgar, you, and me;
gotta go find him and move on,
Both: And be done before the dawn!
Meredith: Gotta get checkbooks,
Shelley: checkbooks—
Meredith: car keys,
Shelley: car keys—
Meredith: passports,
Shelley: passports—
Meredith: and goodbye!
Shelley: Toothbrush,
Meredith: toothbrush!
Shelley: blankets,
Meredith: blankets,
Shelley: Daddy—
Meredith: No.
Shelley: Why?
Meredith (spoken): Shelley, listen to me.
What do you do when you blow out a tire?
Shelley: Tire?
Meredith: Trash it! Some holes you'll never patch.
Shelley: You'll never patch?
Meredith: And who do you save when
your house is on fire?
Shelley: Fire?
Meredith: Don't bring the guy who lit the match!
Shelley: Who lit the match!
Meredith: So we'll get a post office box,
and we're gonna change all the locks,
and we're gonna stay with my cousins a while.
Then we'll get a three bedroom house,
with a white picket fence,
and a gun, and a lawyer, so smile!
Gonna get a home owner's loan,
Shelley: Could...
Meredith: gonna get an unlisted phone,
Shelley: Good!
Meredith: gonna get away from a town gone insane!
Shelley: Kinda thought they would...
Meredith: Then we'll get a three bedroom house,
Shelley: A beautiful three bedroom house!
Meredith: affordable three bedroom house,
with a great big pitbull on a chain!
Shelley: Okay, okay! Okay, okay, okay,
Right, right, right, mother you're right—
Meredith: Right?!
Shelley: Right! Still kind of sad that my dad lost
what marbles he had, but we're free!
Meredith: Freeeee!
Shelley: Free! I'll get a brand-new fake ID.
Meredith: And if we lack for anything,
I can hock this stupid ring!
Both: And we'll get a post office box,
and we'll get a front gate that locks.
Shelley: And we'll get away from those ignorant pigs!
Both: And we'll get a three bedroom house,
Meredith: a liveable three bedroom house,
Shelley: a loveable three bedroom house,
Meredith: and some plastic surgery and wings!
Shelley: For who?
Meredith: For all of us.
Shelley: Right.!
Both: And Edgar will soon have—
Shelley: a garden to walk in!
Meredith: His own driver's license!
Shelley: A car... no, a van!
Both: And Edgar will soon have—
Meredith: five suits and a briefcase,
Shelley: A ballroom to dance in...
Meredith: A good dental plan!
Shelley: 'Cause Edgar will soon have a home!
Meredith: Edgar will soon have a home!
Shelley: Yes, Edgar will soon have a home!
Meredith: Yes, Edgar will soon have—
Both: a heck of a home!
And we'll get a post office box,
and we'll get a front gate that locks,
Meredith: and an electrified fence all around!
Shelley: Woah!
Both: And we'll get a three bedroom house—
Shelley: or even a two bedroom house—
Meredith: No, honey a three bedroom house—
Shelley (spoken): Mom?! Do you think Edgar would marry me?
Meredith: No, honey a three bedroom house,
a three bedroom house,
in a concrete shelter ten feet underground!
(Dialogue)
Shelley: Mom? I want to marry Edgar, I'm in love with him!
Meredith: No, Shelley.
Shelley: What?
Meredith: You're not in love with Edgar.
Shelley: Oh yes I am, Mom, I love him sooo much, and I wanna be with him forever!
Meredith: No, Shelley, it's hideous, it's not right!
Shelley: You're just like all the rest of them!
Meredith: You don't understand!
Shelley! Nooooooo!
(Sung)
What about the three bedroom house?
The three bedroom house?
Who do you save when your house is on fire,
your house is on fire,
your house is on... fire!

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