Video countdown, cyber-phallic-optics
Profligate talk shows scrounging for a topic
Rock-a-buy gravy train, cradle's gonna rock me
37 million's what Larry Parker got me
World War fourteen, my first Sony
The Beatles wrote the Nike song and called it macaroni
Billy Jean, Burger King, chauvinist pigpen
U.S. Army only wants a few straight men
Ahh, Volvo cowgirl 9-9, yeah yeah
Soloflex, Panaflex,Genuflect Pope
What the world needs now is babies, guns, and hope
Guardian, angel dust in the wind cries Mary
Wanna be Madonna but the price is too high
Perfect rhythm Nazis in the pagan rhythm nation
Everybody's equal in the glow of radiation
Gotta four-wheel drive and I park it in the driveway
When I get drunk I drive it on the parkway
Gotta get a TV set for my car
Tonight's the Battle of the Network Stars
Ahh, Volvo cowgirl 9-9, yeah yeah
Saniflush, Santa Claus makin' me sick
Cause anybody in a helmet looks just like a dick
Steely Dan rather be hammer than a nail
The Serbs, the Poles, the check's in the mail
Eat, sleep, live, die, fucking record label
G. Gordon Liddy under the table, table, table
Clarence Thomas organ grinder Frank Dileo's dong
Maybe if I'd him I'd have had a hit song
Ahh, Volvo cowgirl 9-9, yeah yeah
Ahh, Volvo cowgirl 9-9, yeah yeah
Ahh, Volvo cowgirl 9-9, yeah yeah

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