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I got Persian rugs, I got exterminated bugs
I got a house that goes from over there to here
Yeah, my basement's full of fine imported beer
But I got somethin', somethin' in my ear
I got ducks that float, I got a power boat
I got a wife who's almost got her MBA
In every argument I always get my way
But when I walk my dog, he always runs away
One inch away from heaven
I'm on a train that's bound for glory
But as I ride those shining rails
I always bite my nails
I got tubeless tires, I got phones without wires
I got a hundred year old bonsai redwood tree
I've had successful arthroscopic surgery
(On his knee)
But last Friday a pigeon pooped on me
One inch away from heaven
I've almost made it to Nirvana
It's the little things that teach
Perfection's out of reach
I got a way with girls, I got natural curls
I got a straight man when I want to take a fall
There's an autographed photo of the Pope on my wall
(On his wall)
Oh when I phoned him, he never returned my call
Oh when I phone him, he never returns my call
Oh when I phone that Pope, he never returns my call
(Pope John Paul)