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Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of â99
Wear Sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experienceâ¦
I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth;
oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded
But trust me, in 20 years youâll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you canât grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really lookedâ¦
You are not as fat as you imagine
Donât worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind;
the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Donât be reckless with other peopleâs hearts,
donât put up with people who are reckless with yours
Donât waste your time on jealousy; sometimes youâre ahead, sometimes youâre behindâ¦
the race is long, and in the end, itâs only with yourself
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults;
if you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Donât feel guilty if you donât know what you want to do with your lifeâ¦
the most interesting people I know didnât know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives,
some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still donât
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees, youâll miss them when theyâre gone
Maybe youâll marry, maybe you wonât,
maybe youâll have children,maybe you wonât,
maybe youâll divorce at 40, maybe youâll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversaryâ¦
what ever you do, donât congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either â
your choices are half chance, so are everybody elseâs
Enjoy your body,
use it every way you canâ¦
donât be afraid of it, or what other people think of it,
itâs the greatest instrument youâll ever own
Danceâ¦even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room
Read the directions, even if you donât follow them
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents, you never know when theyâll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings;
they are the best link to your past
and the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
because the older you get,
the more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard;
live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths,
prices will rise,
politicians will philander,
you too will get old, and when you do youâll fantasize that when you were young
prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble
and children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Donât expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse;
but you never know when either one might run out
Donât mess too much with your hair,
or by the time you're 40, it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy, but,
be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia,
dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off,
painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than itâs worth
But trust me on the sunscreen
- Album:
- Something For Everybody
- Miscellaneous
- Non-Album Releases
- CMJ New Music Monthly, Volume 56: April 1998
- Absolute Music 21
- Absolute Music 31
- Now That’s What I Call Music! 43
- Now That’s What I Call Music! 26
- Promo Only: Mainstream Radio, April 1999
- Now That’s What I Call Music! 2
- The Best Dance Album in the World... Ever! Part 9