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I'll tell you a story, believe me, it's true.
A tale you best hope never happens to you.
Old Spicy McHaggis, how he met his fate.
You I can save, but for him it's too late.
Spicy was big, burly and strong. His pipes were gigantic,
and so was his schlong!
From city to city, running around,
always looking for chicks over four hundred pounds
One night at the pub, a girl caught his eye,
big as a house, just the right size.
the broad was enormous, stacked to the hilt,
Spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt.
The piper delivered his best pick-up line,
thought to himself,
this
beast
is
all
mine the portly young lady could stand for no more
grabbed his cojones and went for the door
They got to her house and dimmed all the lights
Spicy was in for one hell of a night he said that he loved her,
he'd always be true But
Mr.
McHaggis,
Ive only just met you!"
By now he saw double through his drunken eyes
neither had looks or appropriate size he came to his sense,
thought to himself, "At this time of night I wont
find
nothing
else he took off his shirt,
she lifted her skirt, they pulled out his unit and stared to play she asked for a glove,
he gave her a shove, had baby McHaggis nine months to-the-day.
One night at the pub a girl caught his eye big as a house,
just the right size the broad was enormous,
stacked to the hilt spicy soon noticed a bulge in his kilt
the piper delivered his best pick-up line thought to himself,
this
beast
is
all
mine the portly young lady could stand for no more
grabbed his cojones and went for the door
Three packs a day, he'll smoke 'til he dies Spicy McHaggis, one hell of a guy!
- Album:
- Homeward
- 11 Short Stories of Pain & Glory
- Signed and Sealed in Blood
- Going Out In Style
- Miscellaneous
- The Meanest Of Times
- Blackout
- Sing Loud, Sing Proud!
- The Business
- Do Or Die
- The Early Years
- Tessie
- Live On Lansdowne, Boston MA
- Spotify Sessions
- Live On Lansdowne, Boston MA [Deluxe Version]
- The Meanest of Times Limited Edition
- Sing Loud, Sing Proud
- Punk-O-Rama 6
- Live at Fenway Park
- Johnny I Hardly Knew Ya