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CATHERINE
I could have a mansion on a hill.
I could lease a villa in Seville,
But it wouldn't be as nice
As a summer in Ohio
With a gay midget named Karl
Playing Tevye and Porgy
I could wander Paris after dark,
Take a carriage ride through Central Park,
But it wouldn't be as nice
As a summer in Ohio,
Where I'm sharing a room
With a âformerâ stripper and her snake:
Wayne.
I could have a satchel full of dollar bills,
Cures for all the nation's ills,
Pills to make a lion purr;
I could be in line to be the British Queen,
Look like I was seventeen,
Still I'm certain I'd prefer
To be going slowly batty
Forty miles east of Cincinnati.
I could shove an ice pick in my eye,
I could eat some fish from last July,
But it wouldn't be as awful
As a summer in Ohio
Without cable, hot water,
Vietnamese food,
Or you.
I saw your book at a Borders in Kentucky
Under a sign that said âNew and Recommended.â
I stole a look at your picture on the inside sleeve,
And then I couldn't leave.
Richard, who was with me, got uncharacteristically quiet,
Then he said, âAll things considered, I guess you don't have to buy it.â
So I smiled like Mona Lisa and I lay my Visa down!
He wants me, he wants me,
But he ain't gonna get me!
I've found my guiding light â
I tell the stars each night:
âLook at me! Look at him! Son-of-a-bitch!
I guess I'm doing something right!
I finally got something right!â
No, it's not Nirvana, but it's on the way.
I play âAnitaâ at the matinee,
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
I can state in my next bio:
I'm never gonna go back to Ohio!
I could chew on tin foil for a spell!
I could get a root canal in Hell,
But it wouldn't be as swell
As this summer is gonna be!
âCause the torture is just exquisite
While I'm waiting for you to visit,
So hurry up, schmuck, get unstuck and get on the scene!
The Midget, the Stripper, Wayne the Snake
And Mrs. Jamie Wellerstein â
That's me!
- Album:
- In Concert With Anika Noni Rose
- 13
- Jason Robert Brown in Concert with Anika Noni Rose (Live)
- Songs for a New World (World Premiere Recording)
- Songs for a New World
- Parade (1999 original Broadway cast)
- The Last 5 Years
- Parade
- The Last Five Years
- Bridges of Madison County (2014 Broadway)
- How We React and How We Recover