I'm blessed with a sunny demeanor
I'm graced with the gift of gab
I've got a cheerful, chiseled face
At singing
I'm fab
My life's a wealth of riches
But you can take your pick
Winter through fall
I'd trade it all all
For another inch
Of dick
I eat ceviche
On every beach
From Baja to Barbados
It's chicken feed cause what I need's
More meat with my potatoes
My drink of choice is fine champagne
In which I shower daily
But from my prick
I get no kick
The trick a thick shillelagh
I populate my harem
With brunettes, redheads and blondes
It don't mean squat
I'd toss the lot
For just a smidge more schvonze
My white Corvette
My Learjet
The private yacht I skipper
Are still no scrip
They're just a blip
When I unzip my flipper
And though to you my life is charmed
To me it's still a dud
Whose only remedy you see's
A slightly longer pud
I've paid
Outrageous prices for special devices on late night television
I've emptied my purse to coerce the reverse of my cursed circumcision
When girls take dictation they like exclamation points
Not apostrophes
And deep in their cooter they don't want a scooter
They want an SUV
My skill at math is unsurpassed
Converting quart to liter
But still I vent for one more cent
imeter on my peter
My skin is alabaster smooth
There's neither mole nor freckle
Betwixt my thighs there's no surprise
No double decker schmeckel
Join me!
Zipple zu zwapple za zwapple zu dwei
My yearning, burning ember
Skable zwabble duei
Skwabble dwapple duei
My pole, my swolen member
Skrababble duei skrabadabble do
Skrabweeble dwei Charles Bronson
Skrababble duei babble zabble dwei
My dong, my schlong, my Johnson
Some say that I'm ungrateful
They call me a complainer
Sure, life is sweet
But incomplete
With my petite
Blue veiner
Might I negate
My tragic fate
To live, then die alone
Without the girl whose heart will twirl
When I unfurl
My bone
One day I'll find that special kind
And one thing will define her
What makes us cool
Makes me her fool
Her miniscule
Vaginer
Microscopic cock entropic rock me til I popic small vaginer

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