Iâm sitting here in the dark, on my porch all alone
And I can barely even afford to pay my phonebill
Iâm a starving artist and I still got to have my day job
But I know where my heart is, itâs right here behind my guitar
And I turn into a nervous wreck when I think about trying to make a living singing songs
Cuz I canât compete with burlesque dancers and I canât compete with chicks in drag
And Iâm a sarcastic chick with trucker mouth who really wants to make it big
Yeah right, Iâm going to make it big singing songs about myself and how I love women
Chorus:
All I really want to do is make a living singing songs
But how will I get on the radio when I cuss and swear and sing about loving women
I sing about loving women
So, how come lasting relationships are so hard for me to figure out
They just baffle me and freak me out
But what baffles me even more is every woman Iâve been with leaves the province when we break up
Whatâs up with that? Was it really all that bad?
Chorus:
All I really want to do is fall in love for real but how will I get the chance
When you all keep moving away
Yeah, you all keep moving away now
I met you at the festival and you said that you liked my stuff
And I thought you were pretty cute but I didnât know what to say and I didnât know what to do
So we got married in my head, just a few minutes after that
And we drove off in my station wagon into that proverbial sunset
Chorus:
All I really want to do is drive off into the sunset with you
But how will I get the chance when my car keeps breaking down
And I keep breaking down too
So, will you go out with me, yeah, do you want to be my date
I mean, I think we could be really great together
But I can see youâre a little sceptical and I think I know what you got on your mind
But I promise and I swear itâs true, I wonât write any songs about you
Chorus:
I know I said I wouldnât write a song about you, baby
But I lied cuz this oneâs all about you
Itâs all about you
Iâm sitting here in the dark on my porch all alone
And I can barely even afford to pay my phonebill
Iâm a starving artist and I still got to have my day job
But I know where my heart is, itâs right here behind my guitar