Local Resident Failure defamation by defecation

Heading out for a bite to eat, with my lady by my side.
Light some candles present the rose, I hope she'll be surprised.
Entrees, mains now it's time for dessert... (She's got a sweet tooth for whipped cream)
I hope this is enough for her.
What has come out of the kitchen and what the fuck's that smell?
There's a pile of shit on top of the ice cream