What if Contra... had lyrics?
Ohmigod I fell into a jungle and it's scary gotta run (Gotta run gotta...)
Get red letters with wings (They can fly, they are letters and can fly!)
They're full of weapons and things (Laser gun, flamethrower marshmallow gun?)
S is what I shall use! (spread gun spread gun muthafucka)
R just makes me confused (it stands for rarely helpful)
I shoot tomatoes in all directions, fuckers!
But I still need some added protection!
This game is as hard as I am for Bjork (Fuck yeah dress up like a swan baby)
Harder than Jimmy Buffet is for Margaritas
No I don't wanna play, it's too hard and I feel like a dork (One hit, that's it? Bullshit!)
This code gives you thirty lives, thanks Wikipedia!
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
That is the code, help me sing it again y'all
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
That is the Konami Code!
And now I've got a good chance
To do a victory dance
I gotta shoot at these angry defensive linemen
RATTA TATTA BANGA TAKE A BULLET IN YOUR DANGALANGA--BAM!
Back to the, one mo time!
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
That is the code, help me sing it again y'all
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
Two up two down, left right left right, B A start
That is the Konami Code!
I had to cheat, but I fin'lly beat Contra!

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