Epic Rap Battles Of History
Captain Kirk Vs Christopher Columbus
Arrivederci
Imma leave before this battle begins
Cause we both know in the end which of these captains gonna win
I’ll show you how a real explorer handles a situation
I’ll beat you so bad they’ll feel it in the next generation
So bring it on
I’ll whip you like a Klingon
My rhymes will burrow in your ears like The Wrath of Khan
I’ve got a neck chop for Spock
I’ll put my sword through SULU, check into a Priceline Hotel and watch your fat @ss on Hulu
I’m the enterprising Captain James Tiberius Kirk,
representing Riverside Iowa, planet Earth.
I hear you call yourself an explorer
But I’m just not having it you discovered a new world that was already inhabited.
Why don’t you boldly go someplace you’ve never gone before like India
Or any destination you actually set sail for
You spaghetting eating f&&&k
How’s your spice rack doing?
I’ll be chilling in my spaceship
Have fun canoeing.
You know rapping against you it’s not even fun
It’s like somebody set your brains on stun
I am the fabric of history, you are a fictional stain
I’ll stick a flag up your @ss and claim you for Spain!
Mr. Spock beam me back to 1492 so I can beat this man like it’s my job, we’ll see how Isabella likes my Captain’s log.
It’s Kobayashi for you, there’s no way you could win when your weak crew sees me
They’re be like, dammit it’s Jim
I’ll double-fist-punch you.
You slave making b^tch! Now, take your genocidal @ss off of my bridge.
Who won?
Who’s Next?
You decide?
Epic Rap Battles

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