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I spotted Miss World too good to be true
But the club was pretty dark and Iâd had quite a few
I stagger to her table sipping my brew
But just as I get there she goes to the loo
Impatient bastard now what do I do?
Then I cop her friend and sheâs alright too
Her arse in good shape above average boat
I ask her name, she sticks âer tongue down my throat
Iâm not one to gloat or boast but take note
Twenty minutes gone and sheâs getting her coat
So I down my beer â my boys start to cheer
Grin across my face runs from here to here
She gives me the look and I mean the look
Was it love a first sight man or somethinâ she took?
A swagger in my step like a crook, then I think
The girl looks shook sheâs had too much to drink
I look at her eyeballs to see if theyâre pink
But I donât get a chance cos she gives me a wink
So travel to hers in an illegal cab
Plus I know sheâs a student her house is drab
In my head I'm laughing, I've put the graft in
Stereos playing some timeless Marvin
The lights dim down and the clothes come off
But I pass out, cos her pillowâs too soft
Chrous [x2]
I don't want
(no no no no)
To be true
(no no no no)
I don't want
To make love to you
Iâm up the next mornin, but where the hellâs this
Iâm trapped in girly purple abyss
Itâs proving costly she took me hostage
First things first man whereâs the Frosties?
I slowly tiptoe towards the door
But she grabs my left arm like I've broken the law
Now who am I kidding, I aint her guest
But she playing like she got me under house arrest
She starts with a speech about how sheâs feeling
But Iâm more intrigued by her lilac ceiling
Any time now thereâs a question pending
She wants to confirm a romantic ending
Why do they charm you with Hocus Pocus?
I gotta get home for the Football Focus
To dodge small talk I admit defeat
Er how are you for dinner love Tuesday week?
Chrous [x2]
I don't want
(no no no no)
To be true
(no no no no)
I don't want
To make love to you
As we waited at the bus stop she wanted a cab
But I made her see sense with the gift of the gab
A cabâs 20 quid and thatâs money for us
Plus its it's one nugget each on the 220 bus
Thereâs one little issue that we gotta address
I got just enough cash for a Pizza express
Even though sheâs wants Thai Chilli Beef with Mango
Iâd be content with some wings from Nandos
We get to express but before we can order
She starts with a tirade that I never call her
I say I'm tryna keep my phone bills smallerâ
Try and change the subject- âhave you got taller?â
âDonât gimme that, thatâs a loada toshâ
She says words like that sheâs a little bit posh
âAll I want El is a call at lunchesâ
As she keeps ranting the waiter approaches
âBe honest you want this to work or not?â
âEr, doughballs please and an American Hotâ
âIâm talking geezer I want to know pleaseâ
âSheâll have a Caesar with no anchovies -
And two Peronisâ he makes a note
I look back at her and sheâs getting her coat
She heads for the door like a spoilt adult
More food for me ay what a result!
I don't want
Chrous [x2]
I don't want
(no no no no)
To be true
(no no no no)
I don't want
To make love to you
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