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There's many drinks you'll drink, me lads, on every world that's new.
There's Saurian Brandy, Cranapple Schnapps, and a good old Tullamore Don't.
There's Busch and Beck and Bud and Bock and others dark and pale,
But I think you'll find the finest kind is Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
(chorus)
Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale,
There's nothing that you'll ever taste like Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads,
Three-Oh-Seven Ale.
It started out at M.I.T. one lazy summer day,
When a couple of the frat-boy techies started in to play,
They'd caught up on their schedule with a couple hours to kill,
So they fitted up the cyclotron and made themselves a still.
(chorus)
They added choice ingredients to brew a little brew,
But they didn't know the wires were crossed in Chamber Number Two.
A tiny bit of space got folded, things were looking queer --
They turned the spout and then came out the world's first Hyper-Beer.
(chorus)
It bubbled and it burbled and it glowed a fizzly green,
And what it did to test equipment, frankly, was obscene.
It took awhile to find a vial it wouldn't burst to flame,
Then they measured out its potency, and that's how it was named.
(slower)
There's many drinks you'll drink, me lads, but this one beats them all:
One hundred fifty-three and one-half percent alcohol,
A beer, brewed in a tesseract, that'll shoot you through the roof --
And if you don't believe me, I've got lots and lots of proof.
(final chorus)
Three-Oh-Seven Ale, me lads, Three-Oh-Seven Ale,
The finest drink that any bar has ever had for sale,
It'll lay your whole damn world to waste, it'll make you fit and hale,
It sticks to your mouth like library paste,
With a stronger kick than toxic waste,
There's nothing that you'll ever taste
Like Three-Oh-Seven Ale!
- Álbum:
- In Concert WindyCon 2013
- Sound of Heaven
- Plugged
- Tom Smith and his Digital Acoustic Compilation
- Debasement Tapes
- The Last Hero on Earth: The 24-hour Project, Volume 2...
- Live at Ga-Filk 2001
- The Last Hero on Earth (Prerelease MP3 Pack)
- Laughter Is a Powerful Weapon, Volume 2
- The Last Hero on Earth: A Comic Opera
- Homecoming: Marcon 2005
- iTom 1.0: And So It Begins
- iTom 2.0: Transitions
- iTom 4.0: Smith and Legend
- Who Let Him in Here?
- Domino Death
- The Last Hero On Earth
- Live at LibertyCon 2010
- Live At ConTata 2011
- Live at DucKon 2010