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My wife
Is made up of some parts
Sheâs got a lot of hair
Sheâs got a couple nostrils
I think sheâs got a spleen
She argues with the fridge
And assaults my Barbeque sauce
She hisses at highway traffic
I think sheâs really keen
My wife
Calls knocked-down road signs pheasants
She makes words into chicks
She doesnât smell like aluminum
Sheâs never stabbed my groin
She owns electronic pork
Sheâs threatened me with happy horns
She let me name our cats
After obscure keyboard characters
When weâre having a lousy time
She can summon carnivals into existence with the power of her mind
And if our waitress is depressed
She can hold a fork in her tongue ring while I pick up my straw with my nosepit
My wife
Likes running over hookers
But only in Grand Theft Auto
Her pet name for me is ânumbnutsâ
Somehow she makes it cute
She made me a giant tampon
She talks to infomercials
She lets me touch her boobs
I think sheâs really keen
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- Faster Than a Speeding Mullet
- Sumophobia
- The FuMP, Volume 4: July - August 2007
- Sumophobia Alpha 2 Ex Super Championship Turbo Edition
- Mental Notes
- The FuMP, Volume 12: November - December 2008
- The FuMP, Volume 2: March - April 2007
- Earpicac - Weird Sounds By Weird People
- The FuMP, Volume 1: January - February 2007
- The Fump Volume 2: Mar-apr 07
- Volume 1: Jan-Feb 07